Reporte: 32% de las oraciones son bloqueadas por satélites en órbita

HOUSTON—According to an official NASA report released Saturday, nearly 32 percent of all prayers exiting Earth are deflected off satellites orbiting the planet—ultimately preventing the discharged requests for divine intervention from ever making it to the Gates of Heaven. "After impact with the satellite, these diverted prayers typically plummet back into the atmosphere, where they either burn up or eventually land, unanswered, in a body of water," the report read in part. "Of the remaining prayers, research confirms 64 percent fail to make it past the stratosphere because they aren't prayed hard enough, 94 percent of those with enough momentum are swallowed by a supermassive black hole at the center of the Milky Way galaxy, and 43 percent are eaten by birds." The report concluded that, of the 170 billion prayers issued last month, one made it to God, whose reply was intercepted by a hurricane and incorrectly delivered to a Nigerian man who reportedly did not know what to do with his brand-new Bowflex machine.

Traido del periodico "The Onion" esta noticia me encanta! Todavia no entiendo porque hay que rezarle en voz alta y de rodillas a un Dios, o dioses, que puede leer nuestros pensamientos, sabe como vamos a actuar y conoce nuestro futuro desde nuestro nacimiento (y no voy ni a entrar en detalles de como saber nuestro futuro obviamente significa que no hay tal cosa como libre albedrio!).

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